Okay so as you all know I’ve been cloth diapering for almost a month now. *WINNING* Getting Muffin ass to sleep..LOSING! I thought maybe it was the cloth diapers. It is not. Just to make sure I put her in one of her luvs and she still was in trip out mode. Just don’t get why some nights we are on the right track. And others we go straight to hell. I nurse her and down we go by 1030pm. Maybe waking around 3am to nurse for 30min. Not really waking all the way and we sleep till 7am. Now…literally like now at 1130pm…she is nursing…playing…fussing…..nursing….playing….fussin. Then around 1230am she will finally go sleep and then wake friggin twice. I mean wake up with crying and batting me about the face and head. She will be 15months on the 6th and I really need us to get on a system of “normal baby” sleep pattern. I’m sure I have a alien pod baby in my mist. I hate being a sour puss about it but if your a mama then you know how important at least 4hrs of sleep is a requirement to stay sane. This digress of a mess is a gazillion steps back. Forgive the whine but I’m sleepy ass hell and I felt like telling y’all.
So sad to see the younger generation thinking its cool just to literally hang all day at a gas station or just walking around looking a mess doing nothing. I know temptation is around every corner. I know some of these youth family life they are around does not teach them positve things. Yes our young men and woman have it hard at times. However I feel if the youth today want to do right they can. But thats just it, they have to want too. We as parents and mentors cant hold there hand after a certain age. We can only guide them by our actions and hope for the best. This rambling post came as I sat waiting for my son to finish doing his fish tanks. Im just sitting here watching the world go by and smh.
When I lost my job 2yrs ago I job hunted for 6months and found nothing. Interviews came and interviews went. Then finally came Burger King. I had never worked at fast foods before but I had lots of customer service skills. So although it was not my ideal job I took it because it meant income back home and getting back in the workforce. I had no need for babysitter cause my children were all school age and I was home by the time they got home most times. If I wasn’t the two older kids could watch my then younger daughter. Well somehow amost a year to me being at Burger King and going thru manager training I found out I was 3months pregnant. (I tell you, I woke up pregnant, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it) ;-) But anywhoo, I ended up on medical leave at 6 1/2 months due to contractions. So I ended up being a sahm until Muffin was about 7mths old. I had gotten to know my neighbors 4 houses over and the talk of childcare came up. I was happy they accepted and happy that being right down from the house, when my kids came home from school they could get the baby.
So fast forward to today. Lately I have been picking up on the smell of smoke in muffins hair, clothes and chocolate pudding or maybe cake sometimes on her face. I know that the husband smokes and assured me he smokes outside. Now that was during the summer when his wife started watching Muffin. So I’m thinking maybe cause its cold he smokes inside now. I know I can’t tell anyone what to do in there own home but I thought I made it clear she should not be around smoke. Second hand is the worst. Its unfiltered. Pure death if you ask me. I bought this to there attention in a respectful and kind way and they both swear it has to be coming from the cover she lay own during naps. Well I send her own blanket, and it smells of smoke too now that I think about it. Also they said the smell could be from smoke in there clothes. They assured me, they are NOT smoking around her. Okay so I bring up the chocolate smears. I find out its pudding as I thought and brownies. My first reaction was to cuss they asses the fuck out and ask them why in hell would they give her that shit. I give Muffin SOME table foods. She is still a Gerber baby…and I send her jars of food. Yes she gets some table food from me, but its what I choose to give her and not any amounts to make her full. The wife told me " don’t worry pudding okay, its got milk in it"…(I thought to myself BITCH!)…I’m telling you I almost said that out loud. I haven’t given her a drop of whole milk….other than her one 5oz of breastmilk and two bottles of formula bottles she doesn’t do milk, feed her what the hell I send. Now I see why all of sudden she seemed to be keeping a dam rash.
Also I would send some Mum Mums cookies or Gerber veggie puffs and why that’s all that would be missing. They let Muffin eat 2 two packs of Mum Mums or half a can of the veggie puffs…like about 20dam puffs at a time. I keep wondering why I was running out of her snacks before the end of the month. Now to top things off why does it seem she only drinks 1 or maybe 2 bottle of milk out of 6hours I’m gone sometimes 8hrs. When I get home she always have at least 2 full bottles of milk. I want her to get full off her milk not so much the gerber treats…what I don’t get is I explained this to them. So here’s the problem…I need them since I have no other sitter to accommodate me as of right now…but I will HAVE to start looking for a childcare center or a home daycare as of the first of the year. They didn’t tell me they didn’t want to watch Muffin anymore, in fact when she sees them she lights up, all 2 teeth and all. I feel good about that. It let’s me know they treat my baby good. But I have to be concered about her health. So I’m hoping the talk we had tonight when I got off will go over well and if not, then no heart feeling when I put her some place else. I know the wife needs the income seeing as she don’t work, but I need my wishes to followed regarding my baby. Yeah I need you, but really not that much.
Some of y’all will think I’m crazy but I mean what I said. I’m not my kids friends. I’m there parent first and I’m raising them as such. Why the need to blog it….well my 15y(g) almost got the throat chopping of her life for playing dumb today. One of classmates, a boy who play football somehow found his way to my house and sitting on the porch with my daughter chit chatting. See, now she done fucked up. I DON’T PLAY THAT SHIT AT ALL! There’s no boys ever when I’m not home. I don’t care that was only sitting on the front porch. When I’m home and a classmate, boy or girl wanna visit as long as I’m there I don’t mind my daughter having company. But seeing as I work the night shift 6 to 10pm I won’t have my daughter thinking ANY company is acceptable girl or boy. My rules MUST be followed to the LETTER period. This is for her saftey as well as the well being of her brother and sisters. I don’t trust any like that when it comes to knowing were I stay. She only just meet this boy since Sept 7th when school started. And already he know our address and he know I’m not home during those hours. What IF he want to come in my house and my daughter say no….he get mad and set her up….come back the next day with his boys rush up in the house, and they jump my son…tie him up and that’s leaves my hardheaded ass teen daughter who I told no company…and her 8yrold and 8 month old baby sister vurnable to the god knows what. Hell, the kids in my hood raping 90yr old woman….get my point. My daughter trying to stress he only “stop” by for a few mintues….I DON’T GIVE A FUCK!! I SAID NO COMPANY! So since we wanna do what we wanna do, I took her phone for a month and she grounded for a month. For all you reading call me mean, call me a bitch, I don’t care….I don’t trust any1 when it comes to my home and family and a 15yr old teen is all about giggles, facebook, being cute, nails and hair. I am a MOTHER First, then I am a friend.